My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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