I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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