Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
