I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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