Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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