this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
