Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
time to smoke my breakfast
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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