4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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