so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
