you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She said her name was "party"
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize