Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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