I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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