girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
