I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
God, I missed his penis.
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