whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
