I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Randomize
