You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
