It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
