Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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