I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
