Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
