If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
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all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
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My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have already put on my inside pants.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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