They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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