He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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