If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
did you just send me my own nude
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
