Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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