Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
