Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
