dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
