oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
