Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
