Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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