Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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