i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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