tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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