ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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