i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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