Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
