I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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