Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
