just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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