I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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