Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
