She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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