Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You are the jesus of drinking
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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