Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
