wanna go halves on a baby?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
