okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
