i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
