Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is Oprah even human
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
