Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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