What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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