i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
