Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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