Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
