I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
