I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Sober January is a disaster.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
