He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
