I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
