Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
