I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
