I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
