Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
