Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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